When everything is already there, but you’re not taking the time to listen
For years I’ve been putting so much energy, time and money into achieving a specific state of awareness and to start living a healthy and vibrant life, that I wasn’t listening to what was already present.
I wasn’t listening because I had stuff in my way. I was holding on to past experiences, belief systems and old patterns. The more I wanted to get “there”, the more I was forcing myself to be different than what I already was. And the more I did that, the more I ended up struggling with my life experiences. The more I wanted to act in a different way, the more I found I was still acting the same way.
I wasn’t listening.
I was judging and criticizing myself. I was waiting for something different to emerge. I wanted to be someone different than who I thought I was.
I wasn’t listening.
Being able to sit still, to breathe and to listen to my own truth was, and still is, a sacred journey. Pretending that this journey is comfortable and always easy wouldn’t be true. Sometimes it gets messy, painful and scary. Sometimes I’m ready to give up and go back to what I’m used to: my inner struggles with my usual behavior and its pre-determined limits and fears.
But when I listen, I can see and feel beauty. I can see and feel love.
When I listen, I can also feel the pain, sadness, anger and shame.
When I listen, I can connect with my inner self. I can connect with my whole self.
When I listen, I can change my perspective and discover that what I was resisting was my best ally. What I was rejecting was my best protection. What I was not accepting was precisely that part of me that kept me alive and forged me into what I am today.
When I listen, I can give myself permission to express things: emotions, events, sensations that I’ve been stocking up, sometimes for years. And when I do that I grant myself space… space for more love, more compassion, more joy and more creativity.
When I listen, everything becomes still, aware and ready for action from that space of infinite Love.
And when I don’t listen, the Universe sends me reminders. It helps me by sending me new challenges: either I resist them and suffer, or I welcome them with gratitude, love and trust.
It’s a matter of awareness, choice and practice. It’s a question of commitment to myself.
I choose to check in to my whole self by breathing consciously, choosing to listen to my whole self before taking action.
I know that whatever I decide, whatever my next step is: I’m now ready for it and this is just the right way for me to do it.
Helen Brazil
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